For those of us who have battled some kind of trauma, it was not an easy fight.
First the ability to recognize it, then work through it and gain strategies, release, and healing. On the other side of this messy process, you emerge with a different perspective of what trauma looks like . You can pick up on things and sense when something isn’t right. It is one thing to go through trauma yourself, and experience the effects in your own life, and it is another when you recognize it in someone you love.
There comes a feeling of helplessness when you see the trauma and hurts of your loved one showing up.
It’s hard to watch. They may also see it, but maybe they don’t, or maybe they do see it, but just don’t care. I’ve experienced all of these scenarios. None of them are easier than the other. You want to shake them and tell them to wake up! There is help and you don’t have to live that way!
The effects that you observe can differ in seriousness, so let me clarify exactly what I am talking about here. Of course, if we see abuse happening from someone who has been abused, do something immediately. Everyone should be safe emotionally and physically. The effects that I am talking about are the ones that may be missed by most people. The walls that are put up, the trust issues, the missed opportunities to build relationships. The effects on a friend’s health, the lack of joy and laughter, the depression or anxiety. Those are the effects that I’m talking about. When you know in your heart of hearts that this person can release that hold the enemy has on them and their entire life could change.
If you are reading this right now, and someone you love is coming to your mind, here are some ways you can help this person who has unresolved trauma in their life.
Be a safe space for them. When they are around you, they feel seen with no judgment. Ideally, you will have the relationship with them to gently and lovingly share your observations and offer to help them find help.
Be encouraging. Most people don’t know that it is even possible to heal from trauma, and that it doesn’t always have to be this way. They need someone on their side cheering them on, in their corner.
Set healthy boundaries. Remember that we cannot help those who do not want to help themselves. Sometimes, those who we love are the hardest to set and keep boundaries with. We want to “fix it” for them so they don’t hurt anymore.
Love them through it. The last thing that people need when they have experienced trauma is more trauma. They need to feel loved and cared for.
Pray for them. If you don’t do any of the above, you must pray for them. Pray that their eyes and heart will be open. Pray that they lean on Jesus and begin finding ways to get out of captivity of hurt or sin.
God is the only one who can restore his people.
Complete healing can only come through Him. There is so much hurt in the world, and our responsibility as Christians is to spread the gospel, the good news of Jesus. Sharing the hope and love, to one person, one loved one, at a time.
Jeremiah 30:17 “For I will restore you to health And I will heal you of your wounds,' declares the Lord…”
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