It was about 8 years ago when I learned what inner vows were. Over the last 8 years, I have recognized, identified, and renounced so many that I have made to myself over my lifetime thus far. And they are still coming up. Let’s start off first with what an inner vow is.
Do any of these sound familiar? Have you ever said something to yourself like…
“I will never do _____ again.”
“I don’t need anyone to help me.”
“I can do everything on my own.”
“I will always be in control.”
“I will never let ____ happen again.”
“I am a loser.”
“I am accident-prone.”
God takes vows seriously.
Matthew 5:33-37 says, "You have also heard that our ancestors were told, 'You must not break your vows; you must carry out the vows you make to the Lord.' But I say, do not make any vows!... Just say a simple, 'Yes, I will, or 'No, I won't.' Anything beyond this is from the evil one." - Matthew 5:33-37 NLT
We don’t want to make any vows that we don’t want to keep. We must believe what God says is true. Remember, in Genesis, all God had to do was SPEAK life into existence. That’s it.
Our words have so much power.
And that is a whole other podcast and blog topic!
The most recent inner vow that I have noticed is - “I will never be a good friend.” Inner vows can be something negative that we believe about ourselves. I have been committing to this statement. As I began to dissect this belief, God put some intentional situations in my life with my close friends that uncovered the truth. I discovered that I was a great friend. I am loyal. I am available. I pray over my friends. I listen. I relate. I will not judge you. I will help you problem-solve. I am one of those friends that even though it may have been 20 years since I last saw you, we will pick exactly where we left off and have a great time. If you call me in the middle of the night, I will answer. If you need to vent and cry, I will listen. My best friend in college came to me first when she found out she was pregnant. I listened, and we cried together. One of my best friends called me first when her husband went crazy on drugs. When my best friend now is having a hard day, she calls me. We tell each other things we would not tell anyone else.
So why in the world would I make this inner vow to myself? Well, many years ago, I was told that I was a bad friend. One reason was because I chose to distance myself from illegal activity that I wanted no part of, so I was not loyal and couldn’t be counted on. Someone else told me that I am a bad friend because I didn’t call them every day, and this one stuck. When I started to unpack the reasoning behind why I thought I was a bad friend, mostly it was due to lack of ongoing communication. I just don’t care to talk on the phone for hours and hours. I never have. I will think about someone 10 times a day, and pray for them, but forget to text to ask how they are. I get distracted. I started to learn that the reasons that I thought that I was a bad friend were false. I started to replace them with the truths that I mentioned above.
I am not just a good friend, I am a great friend.
We typically make inner vows to ourselves during negative experiences in our life. We use these promises to protect our heart and ensure that we are never hurt again. If I simply thought I was a bad friend, I would no longer be hurt if I was ever told that again. The expectations of being a good friend wouldn’t matter, because I was never going to be that way. See how that works?
What inner vows have you made to yourself? I am working on an Inner Vow training that includes all the reasons why they are dangerous, and steps to renounce them. You can find that training in my Rise Up, Sister! Facebook group. Go join right now! Until next time, be blessed!!
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