There is this concept of being equally yoked. There was a time that I didn’t know exactly what it meant, and, I should say that there was also a time I didn’t believe in it.
And then there was the day that I did.
I remember sitting across the kitchen table from my grandmother one day. We had been here many times before. This time, she was helping me to reflect on another failed marriage. Yes, I said “another”. Every time in my life that I went through something hard, or needed a respite for healing, I knew exactly where to go. I went to my NaNa’s. On this particular day, she walked me through what the Bible says on being equally yoked.
2 Corinthians says, “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”
There was the moment that I realized what it meant. My ex-husband was not a believer. We were on completely different pages. Actually, it would be fair to say that we were in completely different books. He was not going the same direction I was going. He did not believe the same things I believed. What was important to me was not important to him.
Let’s have a quick history lesson. A yoke is a wooden bar that is used with oxen to work and plow in a field or to pull something heavy. It joins the oxen together shoulder to shoulder so they can pull together. If you have one weak ox and one strong ox, they are not equally yoked. They will get nowhere and get nothing done. They work against each other, and it doesn’t work. Interesting, huh? Even more interesting when we apply this meaning to marriage.
It just doesn’t work. We were not equally yoked, and our marriage failed.
The last part of the verse, God asks two very important questions, “For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common?”. Nothing. Good point.
And the next, “Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”. They can’t. There is no fellowship in darkness.
Sisters, after 4 marriages and 3 husbands, let me tell you that it is IMPORTANT to be equally yoked.
My current husband and I have such a different relationship, a Godly relationship, and it is like no other. It’s beautiful. My grandmother told me something else that day that I will never forget. She said, “Honey, when you find that person that God has saved for you, you will not even know what to think about it.” And she was right.
There is always hope! If you would like a safe, supportive community specifically for women who have survived domestic abuse or family trauma, join my Rise Up, Sister! Facebook group.
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