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Why do we tend to underestimate our immune system? I remember when my sisters were little. They were sick all the time. Every time we would take them to the doctor, each would come home with their bottle of pink liquid. 10 days worth of antibiotics every. single. time. 

So Dylan was recently quarantined. He sat 2-3 feet away from a child who tested positive for COVID. Ironically, about 5 minutes before we got the phone call from his teacher, he had told me he had a sore throat. The next morning he woke up congested. That night he had a 100.7 fever. 

This mama mind immediately prepares for the worst case scenario. 

Listen, rational me knows that there are a million other viruses out there that are not COVID. We also live in Texas where allergens are high, and it’s not unusual for us to get a little sinus infection because of all the drainage. All very normal. On top of that, he just started school, so every year kids are thrown back together into a petri dish. And these are a completely new set of germs for Dylan since we just moved here. 

Under normal circumstances, I would let a few days go by and feel it out. No big deal. Despite what we may think, a little fever isn’t bad for the body, either. That means that our body is fighting off something that doesn’t belong in there. I was raised in a time that if you have even the slightest fever, you medicate to bring it down immediately. As long as it doesn’t get too high, the best thing we can do is to let it do its job. 

Our situation also had more abnormal circumstances - this was the weekend that his sisters were scheduled to come down. So, to protect their health, I went ahead and scheduled a doctor appointment and COVID test. I’m the mama who has always said I would never give my kid a test that involved sticking something that far up his nose. Never say never. Thankfully, it wasn’t as bad as it was when they first started administering them at the beginning of this insanity. I saw many a student (and parent) in my school traumatized because of these tests. 

I digress...

So two COVID tests later, it was determined that Dylan definitely does not have COVID, and just has a little sinus/throat infection most likely caused by allergies. Guess what the doctor sent him home with? Yep, the bottle of pink liquid. And it is still sitting in our refrigerator, untouched. Why? Because our bodies need to have a chance to fight it off itself first. There is a time and place for antibiotics, and I am thankful for modern medicine. As a mama, I chose to help support his immune system through essential oils and foods. Thieves on his feet and down his spine 4-5 times a day. RC on his chest to help open up airways. Minimize (if not completely eliminate) dairy and sugar. And next  time his little body is once again subjected to a virus, whether it be one of the million out there or COVID, I pray that his immune system is stronger and more confident in fighting it off.

This was something I told my amazing husband recently, with absolute sincerity. The older I get, the more I look forward to my Sunday naps after church. I can’t believe that I’ve magically become an “old person”, but I absolutely delight in those two hours of quiet time. 

There are times when memories of my previous trauma hit me in the face. Hard. I remember just after Dylan was born, I was sitting in his nursery, quietly rocking him to sleep. I sat and just stared at his little face. In that moment,  I was completely overcome and overwhelmed with pure gratefulness. I sat there and cried hard; big tears of gratitude. Just three years before at age 34, I had been told that I had no viable eggs and would probably never be able to have children. At that time, I was also living in the definition of misery, struggling to get myself out of an emotionally and physically abusive marriage. 

Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. - James 1:17 

Yet, here I was. Moments like that are beautiful - meant especially for me to soak in God’s goodness and His promises. 

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. - John 10:10

The Enemy had worked overtime in my life. He came at me hard and had killed my dreams of a happy marriage, had stolen my peace and destroyed my chance to have a family. Ay that time, I carried the heavy shame of being married three times, and never believed that I would ever find happiness in marriage. 

Taste and see that the Lord is good;

blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.

- Psalm 34:8

There are the big moments of gratefulness, then when you least expect it, there are the little moments that can also remind you of how different your life can look and how good God is.

As I was waking up from a recent Sunday slumber, I laid there a minute to take it all in before I got up to get busy again. My previous life crashed over me as I remembered days when I longed to take a nap. I remembered being so incredibly tired, like the kind of tired that brings you to tears, when you want nothing more than to rest your head and just cry yourself to sleep. Yeah, I had been there all too often. 

In my previous life, sleeping was not determined by me or my body’s need for rest. It was determined by my then husband. He controlled when I ate, woke up, and when I slept. It was nothing for him to come in at one or two o’clock in the morning to wake me up to drive him to the store for more beer or whatever else he decided he needed at that moment. There was no sleeping during the day. No way. I would be called every name in the book, told how lazy I was, and would have to endure whatever else followed in order to get me up. And he didn’t care what it took. 

That is no way to live a life. Sister, if you are reading this and you can relate to this in the slightest, I pray that you get out. I pray that God will give you the courage to leave and He will cover you with safety and protection. Believe me when I say that it is possible. God created you for so much more than that. There is a life outside of the control of another human being. 

“Stand at the crossroads and look;

ask for the ancient paths,

ask where the good way is, and walk in it,

and you will find rest for your souls…”

- Jeremiah 6:16

When you stand at the crossroads and choose a different path, and finally find physical and emotional safety, I can help you process through the things that happened. I can help you find what your real life should look like, the one that God planned for you. And it’s a whole other, beautiful world. God is using my hurt to help others who have had a similar experience. 

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. - Jeremiah 29:11 

You are strong. You are beautiful. And through the peace that only Jesus can provide, you will have the best rest you could ever imagine. 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” - Matthew 11:28

I wish I could remember where I heard this quote:

“If you want to be successful in your business, you have to be willing to be seen.”

It struck me hard, because life experiences have kept me from wanting to be seen. For many years, I had success in living two different lives and keeping them completely separate. The Lord has been working on my heart, though, and has called me to be a light to someone’s darkness. To share my story. To provide a way for God to work through me to help other women. I cannot do that from the shadows. 

Social media does not come easy to me. Sharing my life and being the center of attention has always been uncomfortable for me. Yes, I know. Trust issues. I see myself as complex and easily misunderstood. You won’t really know me or my values from surface level information. 

It has taken me a long time to even think about putting myself out there. To show others my big picture dream and allow them to see ME. Who I am and what I have been through. What if I fail? What if I’m not good enough? What if people think (fill in the blank)? We all fear judgement on some level. 

In Genesis, Joseph says, ‘As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today. So do not fear; I will provide for you and your little ones.’ Thus he comforted them and spoke kindly to them.”

God has a calling on each of our lives. It is time I live out mine.

 It is time that God uses all the bad in my life for good, and for Him to use me to point them in His direction, His absolute love and devotion. To show them who they really are and who He made them to be.  

I want to help women who have come from a life of domestic or family abuse experience God’s redemptive power and watch Him give them a crown of beauty for their ashes. 

“to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor” -Isaiah 61:3

Last year I completed an executive coach training program. The year before that I attended the Christian Communicators Conference. Over the last few years, I have completed and continue to train in the area of inner healing, through which I have personally experienced so much freedom over the last few years. I continue to be a student of the Bible and learn more about who God is. 

I have been obediently training for what God has planned for me.

My husband and I also have this amazing property that will eventually be a full retreat center to work to be a part of our ministry. I look forward to personally working with women who have experienced trauma from domestic abuse, for church groups to utilize for retreats, and point those who visit to Jesus. 

There are years of work and preparation to be completed before my big vision becomes a reality. 

I have to start somewhere, and this is my somewhere.

Please keep me in your prayers. Pray for courage even when it’s unbelievably uncomfortable, for provision, and that I continue to see God’s light on my path. That I will continue to learn, grow and impact women by being vulnerable and sharing my story - all while praising and glorifying God along the way.

We own this little property in Southwest Texas that we use as a VRBO during the summer, and I have been praying for ways to also bring in income during the off-season. I decided to offer a Girlfriend Getaway. A weekend to reconnect with friends and have some fun. There are several activities to do around here and I would feed them yummy meals. I have been praying for the right people to accept the offer for this Girlfriend Getaway retreat. I look forward to the feedback on how to make it a great weekend so I can continue to offer it in the future. 

It was terrifying on my part to even put it out there to the public. From the very beginning, I promised myself I would trust God and His will. If this is part of His plan, it will be successful, and if it is not, then it won’t be. I know that I have to do my part by walking the path and let Him direct me which way to go. 

This morning I had a lady send me a message asking for more information. I messaged her back with my information page. She then asked for pictures of the property, so I sent her one of each room and a couple on the outside. Her response back to me was a bit shocking to me. She said *that* is what you are charging for? Followed by “LMAO”. I cannot lie, the comment stung. We have poured time, money, resources, and a whole lotta heart into this place to renovate and update to make it better. It made me question my offer, made me think I was charging too much, or we weren’t worthy of this opportunity. All my doubts came rushing to my mind. 

My response to her was simply thanking her for her inquiry, agreed it wasn’t a good fit, and sent blessings to her. My response to my husband was way less Christian, and I had to have a little chat with God repenting of my unnecessary comments. 

During my bible study that morning, I was reading about King Hezekiah. King Hezekiah was a man that wanted to do what was good, right, and faithful to God. King Hezekiah had wanted to bring the people together to celebrate Passover. So he sent out his couriers who went city to city to spread the message. But guess what, they were laughed at, scorned, and mocked. Their message was accepted and humbled by some, though, and those people came to Jerusalem. 

This caught my attention. They had a great message to share, but it wasn’t accepted by some. And the people were not nice about it. Hmmm… sounded familiar. But notice what the couriers did not do… they did not give up. We shouldn’t either. They continued to press on. And their message attracted those who were willing to be humbled and enjoy the celebration. They went on to do great things for God before they returned to their home. 

The enemy can and will attack when we are doing what God asks of us. Our job is to do what is good, right, and faithful in the eyes of the Lord. 

Until the Lord sends me the right people for this (or maybe He doesn’t and that's ok, too) I will keep on keeping on...

Have you ever found yourself hearing something said, but it’s not until the 900th time that it kind of hits home to you and you take a step back and you’re like oh, well yeah. That was me this morning. In the middle of my morning work out the instructor said “Showing up is half the battle. You are halfway through, and you’ve already done something for yourself today.” In that moment of personal recognition and celebration (I'm on day two of my workouts), I started thinking about other ways that I have started to show up for myself. So I want to share with you 3 ways that you can start showing up for yourself today.

#1 Move Your Body.

I know that sounds pretty obvious because I just talked about my work out this morning, but it really is about getting up and doing something physical every day. I remember when I was in the depths of depression and anxiety and all I wanted to do is sleep in my bed or lay around on the couch all day. I had no motivation to get up and do anything whatsoever. And when I was in therapy a few years later, my counselor told me that one of the best things for complex PTSD was exercise. Although I have gotten out of the habit in the last few years, I used to run every day. I had a hate-love relationship with running. I hated it until I loved it. It was time to think, time to reflect, and I used it as a time to pray and thank God. Exercise doesn’t have to be as big as we make it. It can be taking a walk around the block, it could be doing some stretching or yoga. It could be running or jogging or rowing. I think sometimes I tended to make it more of an obstacle then it should be because I didn’t have the right equipment or enough time or 1 million other excuses. Do something today for yourself, get up, take a walk, and as you do, find three things that you can see, three things you can smell, and three things you can feel. What are you grateful for? 1 Corinthians 10:31 says whether you eat or drink or whatever you do do all in the glory of God.

#3 Call A Friend.

Reach out to somebody today. Community is so incredibly important. I know I tend to withdraw or compartmentalize my days. I am not a natural sharer of information of my life. But that’s exactly what I did this morning. I reached out to a friend on Marco Polo and just said hi and asked her how she was doing and caught her up on my life a little bit. It really does do the soul good when you can talk to people. I completely understand that trust issues are a problem with anyone dealing with the effects of trauma, however find your tribe, find your community that you feel safe in because it’s not until you feel safe that you will grow and flourish and be able to speak your truth and be authentic. Galatians 6:2 says to bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. There are so many lonely people out there. They just need someone to talk to or share their day with or just be real with. They can do that for you too. Community is important.

Next Step: Join my FaceBook Group! My vision is to create and build a supportive, safe community in my free Facebook group Rising + Thriving Survivors of Domestic Abuse & Family Trauma. It is a group specifically for women who have experienced domestic abuse or family trauma and are in a safe place physically and emotionally. Are you ready to release the pain of the past and find out what God has created you to be? This is a place where we can share each others lives and lift each other up as we navigate our healing process. You can access the link to our group here:  https://bit.ly/risingandthriving